The First friendship lasts by Pat Tsang

“We could’ve met on the plane”, YC said.

“Yeah, were you the one sitting in the last row?” Pat replied. 

These are the first conversations we have in a church’s online meeting. YC and CY are a couple whom my husband and I met in the church. They are also our first friends we met after we moved to the UK. When we talked about our experience of how we got to Manchester a month ago, we realized we had taken the same flight. Not only that, we were living in the neighbourhood at the time.

I can’t forget the day we first landed here years ago. The sky was dark as if the dawn had not yet broken, but the night was already on its way. Let alone the wind and drizzle. It is a typical Manchester winter day, isn’t it? The colour of the sky was strange to me, as well as the surroundings.

We did not go out much those days because of the COVID-19 lockdown. Not long after our meeting, one day in the spring, we received a text from YC saying that he had something for us. So we popped over and met somewhere outdoors. It was the first time we met face-to-face. He gave us a box of Char Siu Sou (叉燒酥, BBQ Pork pastry), which he bought from a Chinese supermarket.  The taste of the food reminded us of home. He made our day, and we were so impressed.

Now, I have lived here for a couple of years and have met several new friends along the migration journey. However, there are only a few of those whom I still keep in touch with. Friends can grow apart, or later we realize the differences between ourselves and our friends. It is very natural, isn’t it?

There is an expression in Cantonese that says: “People come together because of misunderstanding, and part because of understanding (因誤會而結合，因了解而分開 ).” Especially for expatriates like us, we only have very limited choices when we prefer people who speak our languages or share our cultures. Under the circumstances, we could end up picking the wrong people to be our friends. Nevertheless, I still believe we have done our best to treat our friends well, and that they have done the same to us in return. In this case, why not let go of such hard feelings and move on?  No one should be blamed.

While time can help clear up some difficult friendships, it can also deepen our bond with true friends.  I am so lucky that we and YC’s couple are still good friends after years. My husband and I treasure this friendship and treat them very special as we can never forget the first bite of Char Siu Sou, which meant to us.