Dear fellow learners,
“How to make friends as an adult?” is the topic of our recent online class (Rose Garden Zoom Classes). This intriguing question led me to think of the following :
1. Do adults need friends? Why?
2. What’s the difference between making friends as a child or a teenager and as an adult?
In the lesson, we introduced an article from The Reader’s Digest called “How to make friends as an adult – and to keep them”. The article already gave reasons why friends are important, and we could not agree more with the author. Nonetheless, the personal experience shared by our members made those reasons more sound. You might like to hear a few of our ideas :
“We need to share what is in our hearts and our minds.”;
“It’s nice to have a different perspective/point of view.” ;
“It gives us less time to overthink.”;
“A friend may calm me down and help me…”
Although we did not cover the difference in making friends as a child, a teenager, or an adult, we talked about our difficulties that we were facing now. A common problem we have is time constraints – our busy lives prevent us from making friends. We cannot deny that in those younger days we had plenty of time to hang out with friends. However, it has become a luxury for us after we got more roles and responsibilities in adult life. Do you have the same problem as we have? Is a busy life your obstacle to making friends as an adult?
When our members realized that friends are still important to us, we came up with some tips, so let’s share some of them with you :
“Be yourself. Don’t pretend to be different just because you want somebody to like you.”
“Be open-minded. It can be normal that someone has an opinion that is different from you.”
“Be patient. A good friendship has to be tested by time. Time will show you what they are really like in different situations.”
“Be your own best friend. That’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.”
“If you’ve moved to a new country, be brave enough to make the first move, step outside your comfort zone, and start conversations with strangers.
I found one of the tips particularly useful: it is important to be genuine with myself, since I have no time to waste pleasing others or being pleased. I just want a real friendship.
Finally, I really hope you check your contact list and get in touch with your old friends. If you struggle to make new friends, why not reach out to old ones? They are the ones who know you well and can reminisce with you about your good old days; they are part of your stories; irreplaceable. Don’t worry that you might be given the cold shoulder. On the contrary, they might have been waiting for your calls. They might be too busy or too lazy, just like we are. This lesson inspired me to think of this.
Yours truly,
Pat
26th October, 2026
(image by Esther)
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